I’m going to do it! I thought to myself. I’m going to win this time! It was down to two of us. I adjusted my headset so I could hear better, but there was nothing but silence. I slowly crept around the corner, with my rifle up, sighting down the barrel. “I’m going to win this game!” I shouted.
Then I heard it, the gunshots that ended my game. “Nooooooooooooo!” I screamed, dropping the controller down to the ground. Where the hell did that come from? The replay showed the clever little hiding spot the opposing player used to end my reign of terror. It was a clever spot…….and now I know where it is. You just wait until the next round!
Now here I am waiting in the lobby, and waiting, and waiting. Man, is this 2019 or the 80’s? Shouldn’t like download times be a little faster? Is this what dad calls dial up internet? Whatever that is. Maybe they are still using that technology for this game. I thought to myself angrily. Finally, the game began.
Here I come you sons a bitches! struttinmystuff48 is in the house. I am going to unleash holy terror on you guys, I called out into the microphone.
Mom yelled from the kitchen ” Dinner is ready, come out and eat!”
“Five more minutes mom! I just started my game.” I replied
“Come out and eat now!” mom called out in frustration.
“I will mom, just five more minutes!”
When I came out of my room, the living room was empty. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a plate of cold dinner, threw it in the microwave for 90 seconds and went directly back to my room. Struttinmystuff48 is back in the house!
Several days later, I was gaming like always, and mom yells for dinner, again. “Five more minutes, mom!”……….. It was dark and all the lights were off when I left my room to eat.
Weeks later I was gaming and mom gently asks “Why don’t you come out and visit with me?
I said I will, just give me a few minutes…………. It was dark and all the lights were off again when I emerged from my room. I felt a little bad, but I was young and I got over it.
Many months later, after I had moved out, my mom called while I was on the phone with this girl I liked, “Mom, I’ll call you back in five minutes”…….Then I forgot.
Years later my mom again called. “Mom, I can’t talk, I’m working, I’ll call you back.” Then I just didn’t get around to calling her back
Months later mom called again. “Do you have a moment just to talk?”
“Not right now, I’ve got so much going on, I’ll give you a call back when I get a chance” I told her.
A few weeks later, the phone rang. It said mom, I didn’t answer, I was so busy trying to get my project done. I’ll call her back I thought to myself. But I didn’t.
Two days later I got a call, it was mom, I couldn’t answer the phone but she left a message. She was crying, “I know your busy, I have been sick for a quite awhile now, I didn’t think it was anything really bad, but I was wrong…….. I have been diagnosed with cancer, it’s terminal……… I’m dying.”
For the first time in a very, very long time I dropped everything……………to go see my mom.
It was cancer, and it was aggressive. I watched as my beautiful mom slowly wasted away to a bare shell of herself. The cancer took her beautiful hair, brought her wonderful high wattage smile down to a mere flicker. The cancer ravaged her until she was forced to live in the hospital. The cancer was relentless in it’s attack, until she was so weak she was unable to stand.
The doctors said the time was close and that I should prepare myself.
I walked into the hospital room that day, The medical equipment whirred, the oxygen hissed slightly, the TV in the corner of the room was on, volume turned low. The daylight shinned in through the window lighting up moms face. She was so frail, she was so exhausted, but she looked at me and smiled as I walked in. I walked to her bed and sat in the chair beside her bed. I reached gently for her hand and put it in mine. Her hands were so frail, as if someone had taken a skeleton and stretched a thin white membrane over a hand that should have been my mom’s hand.
“I am so sorry mom, I should have been there for you. I should have made the time. I let you down and I’m so sorry.” I said with tears in my eyes. I looked up and everything was so blurry. I wiped my eyes and saw that mom’s eyes were closed and she wasn’t breathing.
I closed my eyes put my head down and begged God, Just five more minutes God, please just five more minutes…………..I sat there for a moment with my head down, thinking about all the five minutes with my mom that I had promised her.
“You look so much like your father when you do that.” My mother said weakly
I squeezed her hand, it was so cold. “I thought you left me mom” I said tears streaming down my face.
“Not yet son, but soon, I am so tired” Mom replied.
“I am so sorry mom, I was not there for you, not how I should have been, not how I could have been. I let you down………I am so sorry”
My mom looked at me and said “Don’t be sorry, you have been the son I always dreamed of having, I have never been more proud of anything in my life as I have been of you. You gave me a reason to live, a purpose to my life. I told you when you were young that I would love you for all my life, and I have. I love you……. I always will.” She said in the barest of a whisper.
She smiled at me and closed her eyes.
“I love you too mom”
And I held her hand as she died.