Is It Possible To Engage With Your Teen?

The teenage lands, a vast expanse of growing from a child , to becoming an adult. These lands are filled with confusion, emotional upheaval, sadness, elation and all emotions in between. Teens are as confusing to themselves as they are to us, the parental units. They are trying to figure out who they are while being told who to be. They are told what to do and how to do it. Many times they feel they have no control of “Their” life. To some degree this is true.

 

Unplug and have a meal

 Steps for unplugging

  • Power down all Laptop and computer devices
  • Put all cellphones on silent, turn them upside down and put safely on a counter or table out of immediate reach
  • Make the rule that the first to pick up a phone or look at a screen has to do all the dishes
  • Sit down at the table
  • Eat
  • Stare awkwardly at each other until a conversation breaks out

It is always uncomfortable at first, we have become so accustomed to being connected to the ether, that we have truly lost the connection to the most important people in our lives

Our Family

Do something they want to do

This may be difficult for some parents. What your teenager want to do may seem uninteresting to you. It may include brushing off some of those old hidden video game skills. *Video games have changed since we were teens, you have been warned.

It may even be dangerous to older individuals such as ourselves. Not that we are old or weak of course, but perhaps a little rusty on skateboards, or bicycles and whatnot.

Perhaps they want to go someplace and watch their parent bust a move on a dance floor! *Warning video sharing and social media posting have increased exponentially, so be careful!

Maybe they just want to go to a concert full of other teens, and listen to music you really don’t like.

Whatever your teen may want to do, put forth an effort and do it with them, they may make fun of you, but when they have grow the will always remember!

Make time for them

Nothing can be worse than a teen trying to tell you about something and you are “Busy”. No matter if it’s work, wasting time on social media, watching Netflix, blogging, or even online schooling, make the time for them. If you don’t like that they ignore you when they are on their phone or gaming system, then do not do the same thing. When they search for your time and you are to busy to find the time, they will resent you when you demand time from them. The times your teen will come to you for help or advice are few and far between. It may be a sacrifice, but do not be the parent that is too busy.

Have them do something that you want to do

Now it is your turn!

Remember all the torture they out you through when they chose what to do? Well, now it’s your turn! (*Insert diabolical laugh here)

I find that I absolutely torture my teens at the museum, so perhaps a museum visit is in order!

Put forth an effort to make what you want to do something that they may find interesting, but have not given a chance. If you are skilled with your hands show them a few tricks of the trade you have learned over time.

Show them what you do at work so they can get a hands on experience of life after school.

Take them to a concert that you like!

Perhaps take them to the grocery store and get ingredients for a meal and help you cook.

Or just show them a favorite hobby of yours and let them do it with you. No matter what it is, remember it is about the building of a bond between you and your teen. Make it enjoyable and just have fun with it.

Get involved in their interests

Getting involved in the interests of you teens is so important. It keeps you knowledgeable in your teens life. Knowing their dreams and desires out of life will help. The things that they are interested may not be interesting to you, but take the time to get involved and find out. You may find that there is something both of you like.

When you can find commonalities with your teen it will drastically increase your communication. And will help you to build a relationship that will last the duration into adulthood.

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